It's been a while, I know. I'm sorry, I really will try to do better from now on :)
I've had an inspiring day and have been thinking about how I can communicate as an artist better. I downloaded Amanda Palmer's audiobook 'The Art of Asking' this morning (a little late to the party I know!) and have had it on constantly while I go about my day. She is an amazing woman and her positivity and passion for making art and building a community through art has enthused me so much. If you haven't read or listened to this book, I urge you to!
I am an artist. This is what I say (sometimes) when people ask what I do. I usually say it after I tell them my day job, as if the artist bit is just a sideline, a hobby. When actually the truth is it is what keeps me going. If I didn't have a creative outlet I would have gone under a long time ago.
I don't consider myself to be exceptionally talented, in fact sometimes I look at what I've created and just want to set it on fire and go and drown my sorrows. I second guess what I think people want and abandon projects that initially had deep meaning for me because I step back and think 'no one is going to like this.' I rarely sell anything which makes me wonder if I'm the only one that likes my stuff. Maybe it hasn't got that mysterious 'thing' that people want. Maybe people just 'like' my stuff on social media out of pity. My inner critic has a VERY loud voice.
At the start of the book, Palmer talks about the 'imposter syndrome' , the notion that we will be found out by the adults and told to do something sensible and stop messing about, stop being so pretentious. Art isn't important. Except it is. It gives us joy and hope and laughter and tears and inspiration and escape, and a life without those is no life at all. The truth is that even if I never sell anything ever again, I would continue to create anyway. It is the very act of creating that is the thing, not the thing itself. This is what makes me an artist, a creative human.
I have been keeping a visual diary recently, usually when I'm feeling low or frustrated an image will come to me, sometimes when I see something that moves me or strikes a chord I want to capture it before it dissipates. So, I will attempt to share those images on the website too alongside my finished pieces. For now I will probably share them on this blog, but if I become more prolific then I may give them their own gallery :)
I have no idea if anyone even reads this blog, but I vow to myself and to anyone who happens to stumble across these musings that I will keep it up from now on regardless. And if you do read it and want to say hi, please do! Maybe we can connect on some level. Art doesn't happen in a vacuum, it is a shared experience. It can be a lonely business being a creator; artist, writer, musician, whatever and if nothing else art should connect us to each other. Art can be our bridge. See you in the middle!
Peace and love
But...I ripped my heart out for you
There is a man who walks around town with his hands pressed to his face...